John McCain on the Cutting Edge of Technology

It’s good for someone who wants to lead the country to really be up on things that may have happened in the last 15 years or so, technology-wise. Oh wait, but he hasn’t gotten to the web phase of the Internet, because he’s still never sent a freaking e-mail message to anyone.

He uses a staffer’s Blackberry, according to the staffer, but apparently just as a small, newfangled phone:

I use the Blackberry, but I don’t e-mail, I’ve never felt the particular need to e-mail.

So the Blackberry is just for breakout and phone calls? No, wait, not breakout. Your reflexes slow down too much as you age. The blackberry is like the phones he’s comfortable with, and he just tries to ignore the fact that there are no wires, and you don’t have to ring the operator first and ask her to connect you to Pennsylvania 4-7812.

But don’t worry, America: it’s safe to vote for him, because he’s learning to use the Internet all by himself, and hopes to get there soon!

They go on for me. I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself.

You know that his staff would have made this as easy as freaking possible for him, without all of the pesky details that people in the real world have to deal with to get online, and yet he still hasn’t done it! Awesome. Let’s start raising the funds to retrofit Air Force One with an 8-track tape deck right now.