Predictions for Disaster Movie

I guess there’s a movie coming out called Disaster Movie. It looks to be another piece of crap in the vein of Epic Movie or Scary Movie 6 or whatever horribly unfunny things have come out since then. I can’t follow all of it.

Good thing there’s the Wikipedia article, which attracts edits like these:

The film is receiving growing protest from the Society for People with an IQ Over Forty for it’s depection of what it claims is called “parody”. The society argues that most of these “parodies” are simply scene featuring famous film characters from the past year farting, getting hit by things, and being homosexual. In response to these protests, fans of the film were quoted as saying, “Hahahaha!!! Man from movie kicked in testicles!!! Me laugh!!! Me think is funny!!! Me keep paying to see series of pop culture references strung together and billed as ‘movie’!!!”.

Someone please kill me. No, the first screening of Disaster Movie will be the real disaster, because I’m going walk into the piece of shit movie theatre that plays it and kill myself in front of all of the dumb assholes who payed to have their minds raped by this garbage. This is MTV’s fault. Goddamned mind-fuck television. Don’t erase.

Oddly, that was still erased. Damn movie studio shills.

Audiences will find it necessary to gauge their own eyes out due to the shameless product placement and the jokes written by infant chimpanzees. It is expected to be a box office hit.

THIS MOVIE WILL FUCKING SUCK. THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE THIS CRAP MUST QUIT AT LIFE RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE TO BE A FUCKING IDIOT TO THINK THAT THIS MOVIE WILL BE ANYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE FUNNY. IF YOU WATCH ANY “MOVIE” THESE MORONS HAVE CREATED YOU WILL EVENTUALLY COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD OBVIOUSLY RATHER PULL OUT A BUTTER KNIFE AND STAB HIM/HERSELF TO DEATH THAN WATCH ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH THIS SERIES OF REPULSIVE MOVIES MORE THAN ONCE. I DON’T THINK THIS IS A FILM MADE TO ENTERTAIN PEOPLE. AT THIS POINT I AM FULLY CONVINCED THAT IT WILL BE A FILM THAT COULD ENDANGER THE LIVES OF HARDWORKING AMERICAN CITIZENS BY MAKING THEM WANT TO KILL THEMSELVES. MAY GOD BE WITH US ALL. BECAUSE HE IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN SAVE US FROM THIS BLASPHEMY.

Ok, that’s all the comments going back a few days. How do these movies keep making money? Who is the kind of person that would willingly pay money to watch one of these? How do those people manage to find their way to the movie theater without falling down a manhole along the way? Some things will remain mysteries forever, I guess…