Mike Huckabee Says God is Brainwashing His Supporters

How is it that someone like this can be a viable candidate for President, but Stephen Colbert was considered a joke candidate? Is there anyone in their right mind who would rather have Huckabee over Stephen Colbert? Here’s my transcription of what Huckabee recently said about why he’s doing so well lately:

QUESTION: Recent polls show you surging in many states, including Iowa where you’re statistically tied with Mitt Romney, as well as Florida where you’re second place, and Texas. What do you attribute this surge to?

MIKE HUCKABEE: There’s only one explanation for it, and it’s not a human one. It’s the same power that helped a little boy with two fish and five loaves feed a crowd of 5,000 people, and that’s the only way that our campaign could be doing what it’s doing. And I’m not being facetious nor am I trying to be trite, there literally are thousands of people across this country who are praying that a little will become much, and it has. And it defies all explanation, it has confounded the pundits, and I’m enjoying every minute of their trying to figure it out, and until they look at it from a just, experience beyond human, they’ll never figure it out, and that’s probably just as well. That’s honestly why it’s happening.

So, there you have it. Mike Huckabee believes that he’s doing well in the polls because Jesus or God or someone like that is convincing people that he’s the right person to vote for. And rather than commit himself to a psychiatric ward or seek help, or even just keep his crazy thoughts to himself and not let anyone know, he’s speaking them for the whole world to hear.

And, given that this country elected Dubya twice, I wouldn’t be terribly shocked if Huckabee was next. And when the religious NASCAR block hears about how he thinks gay people should be segregated and the government shouldn’t fund research on AIDS, they’ll be even more excited about him.

Here’s the source video that I transcribed, just in case you don’t believe me: