Thoughts on Next Great American Band, Billy Joel Night

I’m not sure why I’m watching this show. I hate myself for watching American Idol, and The Next Great American Band just feels like more in the same vein (even down to the forced snippiness between the host and the judge who dares to occasionally be critical, just like on AI.)

But the Billy Joel night was just weirder than usual. The judges — who were pretty on at the beginning — just seemed to be praising everyone, no matter how meh they were. Allow me to tell it like it really was.

Franklin Bridge — Man, I liked these guys at the beginning. I disagreed with all of the judges’ criticisms about their music being “over-arranged” since I liked what I was hearing. But their cover of “Big Shot” was just a sloppy mess. The singer forgot the lyrics, and sang everything so far off of the beat that it just gave it a sloppy feel. Did I mention the sloppiness yet? Weird since they’re usually so tight. And what about the invisible keyboard player? What’s up with that? Every week that bugs me. Is there some guy offstage playing keys for them, but he’s too white and/or ugly to let people see him on stage? Or are they playing to tape? Either way, it makes me dislike them more and more each week. Invisible keyboard player might be funny as a lolcat, but it doesn’t work in a band. It’s too bad, because they (usually) rock otherwise.

Cliff Wagner and the Old Number 7 — I agree that the tempo was a little too slow for the song, but otherwise I thought it was decent. I’d be surprised if America keeps them around too much longer, but you never know.

Denver and the Mile High Orchestra — Didn’t like this one. The band was good, but unfortunately Denver just didn’t seem into the vocals, and it didn’t work out. And, sorry, but I just heard that they’re a contemporary Christian band, which prejudices me against them from now on.

Dot Dot Dot — I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that wasn’t terrible. I know, I know, weird huh? I couldn’t stand them any other night, they just feel like a posery over-the-top parody of cheesy 80’s bands, and aren’t good enough to make that listenable. But their cover of “Pressure” was my favorite thing I’ve ever heard them do. I wouldn’t say it was good, though, don’t get me wrong. It had a long way to go before I’d consider it good, but as far as I’m concerned that’s a huge step up from everything Dot Dot Dot had done before Billy Joel night.

Sixwire — Man, Sixwire does nothing but bore me. They’re slick and polished and completely boring, and I feel like that every single time I see them. And seeing lead singer Sawyer every week just has me missing Lost. I liked their harmonies at the end, but that wasn’t enough to save the song from boringland.

Tres Bien — I’m starting to like them more and more. I always felt like I should like them, but they never clicked before. Last night was the closest they’ve come to clicking for me. I liked how they stayed pretty true to the original song, just syncopating it and changing it just enough to give it their retro touch. I found myself wishing they were playing it a little faster, since that felt like it would have worked better. But I still dug it. And they seem like a fun group of guys, so I’d like to see them stick around just because they seem likable.

Clark Brothers — My least favorite performance they’ve done so far. I usually like them, but their cover of “She’s Got a Way” just did absolutely nothing for me. It was too plain and boring. And that weird showoffy ending was both silly and out-of-place. I bet they’ll stick around, but I hope they return to something more upbeat and interesting next week.

Light Of Doom — Well, hmm. I haven’t really liked anything they’ve ever done before, but this was the best I’ve heard from them. Again, I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was good. Actually, it might still have been pretty bad, but maybe I had such low expectations after the last couple of weeks that “slightly less bad” turns into a big surprise with these guys.

So there you have it, a week of opposites. My favorite bands based on earlier shows (Franklin Bridge, The Clark Brothers, and The Muggs) disappointed me (or, in the case of The Muggs, got kicked off the show), and some of the worst bands (Dot Dot Dot and Light of Doom) were surprisingly tolerable.

I wonder if, based on that, Rocket would have been amazing last night. Ha, no, sorry, that wouldn’t have happened. Glad to see them go. And way to make me feel old, with your “I loved We Didn’t Start the Fire in kindergarten!” Oh my god, that’s insane. That’s late Billy Joel. That’s high school music. Kindergarten? And I thought Light of Doom were the babies of the show.

And I guess I can’t be too upset at The Muggs leaving; I have a pretty good tolerance for bad singing when the music’s good enough (see my Phish obsession) but I can understand the rest of the country not going along for it. I guess I’ll just have to listen to Cream to get that Muggs vibe.