People Thought Clay Aiken Was Straight?

Ever wonder why the rest of the world laughs at Americans? It’s things like this: Clay Aiken fans threaten to sue because he might be gay.

Yeah, really. Maybe they’re Scientologist Clay Aiken fans; that would help to explain it.

Apparently some female Clay Aiken fans (is that redundant?) didn’t know Clay was gay based on his homosexual run on American Idol, and now are interested in suing, claiming false advertising. You can’t make this stuff up.

In a statement, they said: “As consumers, we feel ripped off. It is obvious now that the private Clay is very different from the manufactured, packaged Clay that was marketed to us… This is tantamount to a manufacturer concealing information about a defective product. Therefore these actions were unfair and deceptive to consumers.”

How do people get that far in life with complete faith that everything they hear from marketers is the absolute truth? Are their brains missing some key common sense bit that the rest of us have?

We are accusing (record labels) RCA and Sony BMG of having a vested interest in the marketing and promotion of Clay Aiken as a virginal, asexual character.

The recent media about Clay has shown this to, apparently, be a lie, and that image (was) only designed to enrich the record company at the expense of consumers. We think that is false advertising.

So, through our complaints, we would hope to force the record companies to admit their culpability in this manner and give refunds to anyone who bought into the Clay Aiken myth… As former fans, we just feel ripped off and hurt.

We believe that this was absolutely fraudulent and that we may have actionable recourse against the record company.

It seems that this has to be some kind of Internet trolling attempt, but based on the number of real news outlets that are reporting it, it’s either real or one of the most successful trolls in Interweb history. I guess it’s impressive either way: either they’re awesome trollers, or they’re awesomely stupid.

Wait, I shouldn’t say stupid, I might get sued also. How about, their brains might not be as cromulent as the rest of the world.