Funniest Spammer Ever

Has everyone noticed the awesome new subject lines showing up in your spam folder in your e-mail account? They’re pretty freaking awesome. I’m not being sarcastic, someone’s coming up with hilarious subject lines for their spam. Quite a shift from the incomprehensible ones written by a Russian or Chinese dude somewhere who barely knows the language.

Let me give you a sampling. Here are some of the ones I’ve gotten in the last month:

• Paris Hilton Excited to Have French City Named After Her
• Old man dies inside Paris Hilton
• Britney Spears Leaves Earth, Humanity Breathes Sigh of Relief
• Paris Hilton Loses Vagina - Blames Dr Phil
• Paris Hilton dogs Paris Hilton with lawsuit
• Paris Hilton crowned ‘Miss Vagina 2008′
• Britney Spears Gives Foreskin Museum Amazing Gift
• Epidemic Breaks Out in Prisons After Paris Hilton’s Release
• Britney Spears Recording New Album - Forgotten How To Sing
• Paris Hilton violated by Gypsies
• Britney Spears Plans To Auctions Off Her Children On EBay
• George Bush Recruits Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan for Iraq “Beaver Patrol”
• I Liked The Part When The French Got Their Asses Busted - G.W. Bush
• Lindsay Lohan Starts Celebrity Movement Against DUI Laws
• Britney Spears And Paris Hilton Beat Lindsay Lohan Within Inch Of Life
• Paris Hilton: The Day I Found Out Gary Glitter Is My Dad
• Paris Hilton Leaves Michael Jackson for Editor of an Internet Spoof Rag!
• Spears and Hilton combine with Sex “to make eye-catching headline”
• John McCain To Paris Hilton: “Cosmo, bayatch!”
• Paris Hilton gets a third breast implant. Taunts Lohan & Spears to do the same!
• Britney Spears Admits “My Vagina Made Me Shave My Head Bald”
• Britney Spears the New Face of Wal-Mart
• Paris Hilton and Britney Spears in Lesbian Prison Romp
• Britney Spears Not Bipolar - New World Order Conspiracy Afoot
• Al Gore, Britney Spears in Dukes of Hazzard II
• Heidi Klum spices up her marriage to Seal by proposing a hot menage a trios with Britney
• Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus Announces Britney Spears to Perform Dangerous Act
• Lindsey lohan trains sheep to tapdance for new TV show
• Lindsay Lohan Narrows College Choices to Harvard or Rochville
• Hilton, Lohan, Spears Apologize, Retire
• Paris Hilton Arrested; Millions Prepare Stupid, Predictable Jokes
• Inspired by Fake Steve Jobs, Fake Paris Hilton Makes Big Announcement
• Paris Hilton and Pope Benedict expecting a baby
• Paris Hilton, Released from Jail, Vows to Do Good, Now Works for Ron Paul Revolution
• Britney still has great hangers. Watch.
• Paris Hilton’s Prison Sweat to be Sold on e-Bay
• Paris Hilton Becomes Mormon — Marries Paparazzi
• Letterman to Interview Paris Hilton’s Vagina
• Paris Hilton goes down on New England Patriots
• McCain Chooses Paris Hilton to be Running Mate
• Lindsay Lohan Wants Harry Potter Role, Nude Photos Back

And then let’s not forget the MSNBC breaking news spam, apparently from the same source. Also all from within the last month:

• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Britney Spears And Michael Jackson To Write Parenting Book
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Paris Hilton Lectures On Dickens And Dostoevsky
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Unemployed To Be Used For Soup
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: [video] Mccain Vows To Replace Secret Service With His Own Bare Fists
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Home Office To Deport Anyone With Iq Below 100
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Spongebob Denies Reports That Hes Gay
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Daily Stir: London Mayor Gets Nipple Caught In Ringer
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Michael Jackson is hermaphrodite. Watch the video.
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: [audio] Church Group Offers Homosexual New Life In Closet
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Abortion made illegal in New York
• msnbc.com - BREAKING NEWS: Police Raid Donut City

Wow. Now, the spam message itself isn’t nearly as interesting as the subject lines. It just tries to get you to click a link to view a video, which takes you to a web page that tries to get you to download and run a Windows executable from the site, claiming you need it to view the video. If you’re stupid enough to do that, the spammer’s program (the one I looked at was called video_8.exe) will copy itself to c:\windows\system32\CbEvtSvc.exe and set itself up as a service. Fun. Who knows what happens next, it probably runs up your credit cards, buys houses in Hawaii for the spammer, and then eats your cats.

But those are still some funny subject lines.